Tactical Espionage Action... oh, wait a second...

Ok, almost every server is down right now for what Blizzard claims is maintenance that will significantly improve performace. Admittedly the game HAS been running pretty shitty lately. I just can't stand not being able to get my fix. Oh well.

Oh, got my ears pierced by the way.

Ok, thats it for now. This was just a quick one.

Geez, I can't believe how much has happened already this week. Big things. First, I finally got my ears pierced today. It hardly even hurt, and there isn't even any dull afterpain like with the cartilage. Sweet. The hoops they gave me are bigger than I would have liked, but I guess they cat't be too snug yet. That's easily fixed in 6-8 weeks anyway. Happy I did it, especially since my mother wasn't too thrilled about it. She knows where to shove it as far as I'm concerned.

Let me just say going back to school after a week off has been especially trying. I'm not motivated to do anything in the least. Adam blew me off for the gym AGAIN today because the idiot just got back from Arizona last night and his brain is apparently not functioning, causing him to forget his gym clothes. Glad I planned ahead and brought my Latin book with me. But then, why should I be happy about Latin? Well, I'm not really, I guess I just appreciate my own foresight. I'm getting nowhere fast in the sexy muscles department. Sigh...

Now here's the really big thing.
I saw Christine Monday morning, so like everytime we meet in the mmorning before class we went to Bagelz and had some coffee. We were talking about break and how my birthday is fast coming up, like 2 weeks from Thursday coming up. I reminised bout how I spent my last birthday with Nathan, and THAT'S when she remebered she had a message for me. She sort of forgot to mention that in addition to Nicole, Nathan went out to the bar with them on St. Patrick's Day. As they were on their way to tipsyville, Nathan asked how I was, since apparently he associates Christine with me. Anyway, as he was imbibing in alcohol, he kept repeating that he never wanted to hurt me, that I didn't ruin our day in New York, and that despite everything I was a good friend. Well, let's be honest here. In my heart of hearts, I knew I couldn't stay mad at him forever. If there's ANYTHING I've figured out in my lifetime, there's no point in holding grudges forever. So, I called him after I got home from work. We talked for at least 2 hours, catching up and talking about movies and other BS. Suffice to say, I went to bed in a very good mood last night. In all honesty, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I know he never wanted to hurt me. We both admitted we said a lot of things we didn't mean the last time we talked. But anyway, we're going to hang out on Friday after I get out of class. This time I think things will be alright, and we're going to be really good friends. I have to admit, for as short a time that we were together, Nathan could read me like an open book. A rare gift I guess. We don't have everything in common, but we have a lot of the right things in common. God know's I'm NOT a fan of musical theater, and he doesn't care all that much about video games. Overall, I'm really happy about the whole thing.

And of course you know I can't not mention WoW. They added the big patch today. And it's already bugged. I got disconnected and now I can't get back on my server. Once it's FINALLY fixed however, I'll be able to enjoy multiple action bars on the screen at once, and a quest tracker so I don't have to open the quest log a million times. Should be pretty cool. In what seems like will be a few years, I'll be able to go to the new instance dungeon they added.

That's all for now. C ya.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Garbage- "Hammering in my head"

Well it finally happened. Bill and I went to The Barrens tonight and I was able to complete the quest to get my succubus. Let me just say how awesome this summon is. She attacks so damn fast, and is just damn cool in general. Carries a whip :) WoW just keeps getting better. I can hardly stand to be away from this game. But let me just say I was absolutely freaking out while we were in Horde territory, I was just waiting for some high level jerk to pounce and wipe us out. But fortunately, nothing of the sort happened. We only had to deal with the local wildlife, which included raptors, hyenas, and some big frigging stegasaurus things. And a centaur or two, but that was it. Totally kick ass.

In other news, I didn;t have a chance to get my ears pierced yet. Tuesday though, almost for sure. Work was dismal as usual. Nothing great, nothing terrible. Just mundane. Ugh. Ok, it's past my bedtime.

Current Mood: tired

So uh yeah, I guess it's been a while. A month it's been a while. I guess WoW has really been obsessing me that badly. I can't really understand how anyone could not like that game though. It's actually kept me from spending money on other games. I actually feel kind of bad since I haven't even gotten Xenosaga Episode 2 yet. God knows I haven't been so enthralled by a story like that outside of Metal Gear. And here I am putting it on the back burner. How insane. This game has such a potent affect on me that while I'm playing it I actually manage to forget I'm not getting laid. God damn.

Anyway... I'm back, at least for the moment. I have plenty I need to get done this week, and I don't have anything done. And it isn't even WoW's fault. I really have no idea what I'm going to do for my Shakespeare research paper. And my Chaucer exam isn't due til Thursday when we get back so I keep putting it off. Ugh.

In more exciting news, and since I'm fairly sure only two people will be reading this, I'll address you directly. If you guys haven't seen the full trailer for Revenge of the Sith, DO SO IMMEDIATELY! You know my apprehension regarding the prequels and the rather disturbing change maed to the end of Return of the Jedi, but this trailer fills me with hope.

What else is new with my life? Not all that much. Got the last of my fillings done. I had to get 4 needles to get numb enough, and let me say my jaw is still feeling it. I have a cold or flu or something so finding motivation to get work done is pretty difficult. When I wake up I feel like shit, but after about an hour I'm more or less ok except for the nose leakage.

Now here comes the shocker. I haven't ben totally idle this week. I got a new haircut this week, it's not spiky, but I love how it turned out. And I'm planning on getting my earlobes pierced this week. I have truly crossed over from "...Is he...?" to "Oh yeah, he's gay." Christine got her nipples repierced on Monday, and is trying not so unobviously to convince me to get one of mine done. WHEEEE! I'm not sure I'm ready for that, but the fact that I'm even entertaining the thought is something else. The Anthony of two years ago would never have even gotten his cartilage pierced, let alone a nipple. I still remember the wave of total euphoria after I did that, so I can only image what will happen after this. I'm not exactly the type to hurry up and show off a nipple piercing, but hey, I'm attempting to go to the gym so that MIGHT change, and I can hardly believe I'm saying this but I think they're damn sexy. I guess we'll see if I get the nerve to go that far. But one thing at a time. Ears first.

And now the WoW stuff. My beloved paladin Devallera is level 30 now, so only 10 more levels to go until I get a horse. Totally awesome. Also working on my warlock Teiresias again. He's starting to become a badass as well. 19 more levels til he gets his Fel Steed. There's just something indescribably cool about riding around on a demonic horse with flaming hooves. Can't wait. Bill and Steve are doing well, 4 more levels and Steve's druid gets his cheetah form. 6 more levels and Bill gets his horse, lucky bastard. We also made our Horde characters, my primary is a Taurne druid. Very cool. We started a guild there too, Company of the Blood Axe, Bill is in charge this time.

So yeah, thats my break so far. I'll let you know if anything interesting happens. In all honesty, I miss you guys. You both have managed to make me want to grab an AK-47 and start mowing people down at times, but I would say the frustration has been worth it. You certainly got me out more than I had been, at times more successful than Christine in getting me to do things, which is no small miracle. I guess I owe you for that. Just be glad you aren't stuck in finiky weather RI, spring-like weather one day, snow the next. Oh well. Until next time (which I promise will be sooner this time).

Current Mood: can't breath thru nose
Current Music: Garbage "Why Do You Love Me?"

Good grief what a week. Two presentations, three papers, and the usual burden of Latin. Now that 3 out of the five are done with, I do feel a lot better. Oh, and how could I forget, Valentine's Day was Monday. Lucky me, I got to hear all about all the things all my friends did. I know more than one person will tell me I'm well loved by the people in my life, but, I don't know. It just doesn't seem like enough sometimes. I know it's not like I've tried too many times, but in all the times I have, I've pretty much struck out. After a while, it's discouraging to hear the smae thing everytime. "You're a wonderful guy, you deserve the world. BUT..." Honestly, I can't help but think I'm doing something wrong. There's only so long you can be content to just be someone's friend. I swear, there are times when it drives me just a little bit more crazy, for lack of a better term. I suppose it's my own damn fault. I just wish people would be more honest with me instead of trying to avoid hurting me.

With all this on my mind, I suppose it was inevitable that I would have one of my week long headaches. From the minute I wake up until the minute I fall asleep my head has been throbbing. I feel like there's someting wrong with me. Like I'm some sort of subhuman creature, undeserving of any real happiness. Like God is playing a joke on me and I'm the joke. I just wish I knew what to do.

About the only thing that has been bringing me any form of pleasure is World of Warcraft. It is endlessly entertaining. It's the typical answer to all of my problems. Escapism. Pretend I'm someone else for even just a few hours. Not that people online are any better than in real life. There are plenty of idiots that play. Stupid piece of shit idiots who think they're big and bad because they challenge me to duels because they're twice my level or beg me for money. So I guess in the end there's no real escape. Story of my life

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: Xenosaga st: Beach of Nothingness

w00t!!!! Bill, Steve and I formed our WoW guild last night, the Sons of Liberty. i'm so damned excited. And what can I say, I'm Guild Leader. It's nice to be in charge. We have a bunch of strangers in it, but now that it exists, it doesn't matter if they stay in or not. It's so damned cool! I thought I would explode. Thats all for now people. Oh, one more thing, the gym is good. I look forward to the fact that I'll actually be in decent dhape for the first time in my life eventually. Look out Virginia during Spring Break!

Current Mood: extatic

Well, I know it's been a few days, some interesting things have actually happened in them. Let me lay it out for you:

1) First, and biggest event of my weekend, was the new car. Yeah, I didn't really want to do it. What can I say? For some silly reason, I get attatched to certain things, like my car. It was a good three years, I had absolutely no problems with my Focus. It was a damn good car. BUT, I guess all good things come to an end. I have to admit, my new Liquid Grey 2005 Focus is really starting to grow on me. It actually runs a little smoother than my old one, and well, it has a 6 CD player. How cool is that? And well, I've fallen in love with the color. I guess I've gotten out of my black phase. Grey is the new black :).

2) Well, actually this is what didn't happen. Valerie and I never made it to New Hampshire to see Lisa. Lisa had strep throat, and Val go in a pretty nasty car accident on rt. 95... Thank God she didn't get hurt. But we met for dinner and I got to meet her new boyfriend DJ. Awesome guy, we all had a lot to talk about, Val and I went on about Greece for a bit, DJ and I talked video games. He even likes World of Warcraft! If he gets a better computer he's going to play with us, too awesome! Anyway, good meal and conversation had by all.

3) Made a new friend in Latin class. Don't even know his name yet since he transferred in after about a week. Suter knows him so I guess he was in the other section last semester. But he seems to despise it as much as I do, which is great. He apparently used to be an English major, but switched to business, which is probably why I vaguely recognize him. Not that the people I know in class from last semester aren't great, but it's nice having someone to consistently talk to. Makes the tooth pulling experience that Latin usually is a little easier.

4) Had lunch with Adam yesterday. We're actually going to the gym this semester. I hope I'm ready to feel the burn. But hey, if it means I could possibly have pecs by summer time, well, thats too awesome.

5) Chaucer class is still awesome. Prof. Campbell is so damn funny. That makes the usually boring experience of going through the Canterbury Tales AGAIN totally worth it.

6) And finally, what I know REALLY matters. Mere minutes ago, I finally beat my frustration and got a new summon for my warlock in WoW. I can now summon a voidwalker, and it's totally badass. WoW rules.

Guess thats about it. I guess I should start taking the advice of so many of my friends and just smile. Special mention: I've heard that most recently from a certain redhead, whom I miss quite a bit. I wish you weren't an ocean away. Of course at the same time I wish I were rich enough to be able to hop on a plane at a whim. But I guess that's the benefit of eventually getting a real job. Sigh...

That's all for now. G'night kids. I'm off to play WoW.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: WoW soundtrack: "Stormwind"

Well I don't even know what to say. Bill convinced me to get World of Warcraft. All I can say is I am HOOKED. I'm addicted to it like a heroine junkie. And we even got Steve to join us! We all partied up together last night for the first time. I can't believe how much fun we had! And I must say being a Warlock really is fun, I love being able to summon minions to do my bidding. My imp has been doing pretty well so far. Nothing really new to say, considering Valerie and I didn't get up to New Hampshire to visit Lisa, who has strep throat.

Guess that's it for now, I'm off to level up.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: WoW soundtrack in a minute

I just don't get it. There seems to be one constant that unifies my entire family, no matter how little we apparently care for each other. When I say family in this case, I don't mean just mom and dad, but the entire thing this time. I found out this afternoon that my dad's cousin's wife, whom I always referred to as my "aunt", lost her battle to cancer around 9 o'clock this morning. I'll be honest. In life she was a bitch and a know it all, nobody was ever right if they didn't agree with her. In fact, I never really liked her, and neither did my parents. But, to know how she suffered, right up until the end, still clinging to the hope that some experimental drugs would save her life, only to have it be a false hope... I wouldn't wish this fate on anyone, well, almost anyone. I'd say there's one, maybe two people who I hope know what it is to suffer like that, and that's only because they were two people I gave my heart to and the walked all over it, so maybe it's just the remnant of bitterness talking. In my heart of hearts, I don't think I'd even wish such a fate on them. No, not even you Nathan, you whore.

I know what cancer does to people. Not directly, or maybe I do know directly. Cancer first took my Grandma Bella (my father's mother) away from me when I was only in 3rd grade. When I think about it, I hardly got to know her. But I can't deny the love I had for her, and the way she loved me in return, or is it the other way around. I remember my parents telling me how she and my grandfather, who died shortly after I was born, how excited they were, that I was the first boy that any of their children had. That the family would continue with me. I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like if she had lived, at least to see me through high school. I also wonder, what would she think of her first male grandchild being gay? Would she have been disappointed in me? I have to believe that I would still be her favorite grandchild, always by her side. I have to believe that she's been watching over me all these years. Despite only knowing her for a short time, I can't deny how much I miss her sometimes.

Next, cancer decided to victimize my other grandmother, Mary, my mother's mother. This time it was breast cancer. But she was already old, and doing anything about it might have been more dangerous than leaving it there. So, she lived with it. I have no idea if she was in any pain, if she was, she certainly hid it well. And in the end, that wasn't even what claimed her life. I suppose she suffered an even worse fate. Alzheimer's disease, as far as I'm concerned, is a fate worse than death. In the end, she didn't know who she was, who my father was, or even who my mother was. Her loving daughter, who was by her side for every minute she was able. And despite ALL this, she knew who I was. She would always ask for me, although I don't know if she exactly understood who I was. But the nurses at the nursing home would tell me how she always wanted to know where I was, always asked for me. I don't really know how to feel about it all. I loved her, but, why me? Of all people, she should have known who my mother was. I don't think I deserved to be the one she remembered. And on top of that, at almost the same time, throat cancer almost took my father away from me twice. Both times the doctors said he dodged a bullet. No one thinks he can do it a third time. And that terrifies me. We've had our problems, we still do, but I don't want my father to die like that. As much as I don't believe it sometimes, he's a good man, the last person who deserves some of the card's he's been dealt, like a son who can't give him the grandchildren that he wants.

And here's where I think I lost my faith. Not faith in God, I never believed in Him anyway. But I think I lost my faith in life. For the past two years, I've felt this, I don't know, I guess the best way to describe it is numbness. For a time, I thought I'd escaped it when I came out. That must have been the happiest few months I've had since I was little. I was on top of the world, I thought nothing could bring me down anymore. But then, I did a very dangerous thing. I started thinking. Who cares? It just isn't enough, and doesn't really amount to much. I'm not the first 20-something to come out and I won't be the last. And I guess I didn't really realize exactly what I was getting into. Being gay isn't easy for someone like me, I just want to find someone to love, maybe even someone who loves me back and I can maybe even spend the rest of my life with, I don't want a fuck buddy. And that seems to be all anyone else is concerned with. I won't lie, right this moment, I would LOVE to get laid, who wouldn't. But that isn't everything. Without love, the very idea is shallow and empty to me, pointless. I've been told that actual experience might change my mind, but I tend not to think so. I know myself better than anyone, right? I'm not even sure about that lately. The old doubts never seem to go away. Am I even worth somebody's love?

Well, this entry sure took a detour didn't it? I guess thats just the way my thought process works, but I guess I just needed to say what I needed to say. But I've come to a rather pessimistic conclusion. The one constant in life is pain, with happiness being random bumps in the road along the way. But the people that experience the most pain are always the ones that don't deserve it. My parents don't deserve the pain they've been dealt, by anything else, and especially not the pain I know I've caused them. I only wish I had inherited the strength that the rest of my family has. Or is it just that I haven't been able to remove my proverbial sword from the stone and found my own strength yet? I'm not really sure. I guess only time will tell.

Current Mood: mournful
Current Music: the sound of my computer fan

Well what can I say but DAMN. I don't think I've EVER seen this much snow at one time in my entire life. I like snow, just not this much. This is a bit of overkill. BUUUTTT, school did get canceled tomorrow! Guess I can't complain really.

Well the shoveling and cleaning off the cars was kinda rediculous. But I do have a silly confession. Like I said, I don't I've ever seen this much snow at once in my entire life. So of course the moment I stepped outside only one thing came to mind ::stupid grin::. For anyone who knows me well enough, this should come as no surprise. I just couldn't help myself. I step outside, take a look around and say, out loud, "Han old buddy, do you read me?" I am such a loser. Helplessly stuck in my own little fantasy world, but what can I say, I love it.

So here I am, done with all of my homework for once, no work today, and no school tomorrow. Can't get any better. And I totally binged on Babylon 5 season 4 on top of everything. Overall, except for the shoveling, an awesome day. Who'da thought states of emergency could be so fun? Laters.

Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: Metal Gear Solid 3 st: "Sidecar - Railbridge"

Friday at last! Not that it's been a full week of school or anything, but I guess the worst is over. I'm happy to say I only crashed and burned on 2 of the sentences In Latin, which I guess isn't half bad. After that, I had lunch with Christine and then we went shopping! And I only managed to spend $6! For me to go into Old NAvy and only spend $6 is nothing short of a miracle. Not that it was even my $6 since I still have gift cards from Christmas :0). Later I got a call from Lindsey, who I haven't hung out with for a long time. We went to see Assault on Precinct 13, which I thought was awesome. What can I say about Laurence Fishburne that hasn't been said already? he's a total bad ass and totally suave and cool all at the same time. Overall, fairly exciting day. Better than last week. Ugh. Still gotta look into an internship. First thing on Tuesday when I get out of class.

Oh, also saw Dan today. Guess I'll be volunteering my services for this semester's Study Abroad Fair again. What can I say, I like the guy. He's my own personal Yoda, what more could you ask for? Well, maybe a date, but that's my own damn fault. Just one more thing on my to do list. And I have every intention of getting it done for once in my life.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Explosions in virtual North Korea in Mercenaries

Yes I know. It's been a few days. What can I say, school's already keeping me busy. I've even dropped one of my classes and yet it doesn't seem to have made my life any easier. BUT... it got me out of buying another FIFTEEN books. Yes, FIFTEEN. What madness is this? And almost all of them were written by the same two people. Geez, the title U.S. Authors is rather misleading. Oh well, I won't miss it.

I'm sad to say that Latin threatens to rape me up and down the ass once again. It took me the better part of the day to finish the chapter 17 homework. Of course it doesn't help that the fucking idiot SKIPPED chapter 16. Way to go.

Other than that, I love my other classes. I always enjoy Shakespeare. Sex and gender should DEFINITELY be interesting, but the real surprise is the Chaucer class. Middle English is actually kinda fun and the professor is awesome. Next week we're going to watch the movie "A Knight's Tale" for no other reason than it should be an absolutely absurd way to get into the Canterbury Tales, and that Chaucer is a character in it. Awesomeness. But I really need to look into an internship.

On the video game front, I am totally obsessed with Mercenaries at the moment. It's kinda like GTA, but somehow better and more interesting. Not that I even have time to play it. And now that Bill and Adam have done everything short of threatening me with lashings, I broke down and ordered World of Warcraft. But we already have plans for adventuring, and I'm totally stoked. Here's hoping I can get some time in at night to play.

Guess thats it. Night folks.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Breaking Benjamin - "So Cold"

Yeah. I guess I got a little carried away in my last entry. Sorry 'bout that. But when I get going I just can't stop it seems. Not that anyone has even been reading this damn thing. So who really cares right? I could say anthing and it's not like anyone will notice. Story of my life. Thats all I've got for now. See you all later, or not, as the case may be.

Edit: Adam sent me one of the pointless personality quizes, I actually kinda like this one

Take the quiz: "What Kind of Soul Do You Retain?"

Tortured
You aren't sure how to feel, and this leaves you constantly in distress about what you do and who you are. You are tortured in the fact you can't run OR hide.

Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Halo 2 st: "Ghosts of Reach"

Well let me tell you today was fun. First of all, I'd had a nasty chip in one of my front teeth since Christmas Day. That in itself is aggrevating enough. And I FINALLY had my appointment to see the dentist today. Did I mention I hadn't been in two years because of all the shit that's happened to my family in those two years? And that I never got all my fillings done? Well, he numbed me up. I swear I thought one of the needles was going to go straight into my eye. But I'm happy to admit that that is always the worst part of the whole thing. So after being a nervous wreck in his waiting room for the previous half hour (can't any doctors be on time?), wondering if I'm going to need a root canal, all is well. My tooth is fixed, got a couple of my fillings done, and there it is, no big deal. But my jaw does ache from the injections. Ugh. And THAT, I'm sad to say, has been the most intersting thing to happen thus far this week. Well, I did get Alternator Swindle from Steve today, that nice since there haven't been any new Alternators in a while. Of course, he also found Grimlock and Windcharger for himself... so as usual I'm behind already. Oh well, guess they'll be around.

Oh, and there's also the issue of paying off the rest of my car now that the lease will be over in May. Whoopie. Let me tell you, they REALLY tried their damnedest to talk me into leasing a new car. Well sorry, I can't afford to pay another $50 a month for something I ultimately don't need.

Only a week left until school... yay...

This just in:
Well, looks like Valerie and I just made plans to go visit our friend Lisa up at UNH. I'm really excited, considering I haven't seen Lisa since she left Greece! Hell yeah! Now I just have to talk my way out of working that weekend. Hopefully that won't be too hard.

And yet here I am, sitting at my computer all by myself, with nothing better to do than write this, thinking that life is passing me by. I don't know, I guess I still haven't found what it is I'm looking for. I'd thought I found it at the end of last year but.... heh, guess I was just fooling myself, as usual. To be honest, I'm so damned afraid. Everytime I take a risk to make myself happy, it... I don't understand why it always goes wrong. It takes me so much to just get the courage to do something about my feelings, and then I find out I was too late or I was just a fool. I've always tried to be a good person and to be good to other people. I've always believed that that was noble or something, that just trying to be good in my own small way could make a difference. But I guess that just isn't enough. It doesn't mean a damn to anyone. It seems like my life has to be an open book to everyone, that I have no choice but to bear my soul to the world. But then I never get the same in return. I have no idea what's going on, or I'm not told everything. I always get the full story God knows how much later or hear about it from someone else. I can think of one person, ONE SINGLE person who tells me everything, that I believe gives a shred of a damn about me. If she's reading this by chance, you know who you are, I see you almost every day. Alright, maybe one other person, the one guy I've known longer than anyone else, the one person outside of my family I've known my entire life. The person who was so worried about me during one of my darker times that he picked up the phone and called my parents because he was worried I might try to commit suicide. It seems like I hardly ever get to see him anymore, and it pains me beyond any words. And then there's Christine, but what can I say, she's a busy girl, more than I'm sure I can imagine. And I guess one last person would be Steve, the person I've known second longest, and been like my brother, for the good and bad that statement entails. I know there are others I should mention, but I don't need to drag this on anymore than I already have. I'm sure they know who they are. These people are the few that have always been there for me. They have nothing to prove.

So you know what? I think it's time I act like the rest of the people on this God forsaken planet and only worry about #1. Nice guys really do finish last. To hell with the rest of you. I'm tired of only being good enough for you when no one else is around.

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Music: Cowboy Bebop OST Blue Disk: "Rain"

Well, since I'm here writing this now, I'm obviously not at Christine's LOTR Extended Edition marathon, which didn't happen because she's sick. Ugh. So here I am, sitting at home, bored out of my mind as usual. I guess it's ok since I fell asleep almost immediately after I got out of work. And here I was hoping to push my endurace to the limit and stay up til 12+. Oh well. Already there's only one week before classes start again. Can't say I'm eager to continue my Latin experience, but at least once it's over I can say I got a minor out of it.

More interestingly I've been fiddling with my Sony digital camera, trying to figure out why exactly it has a 4.5 megapixel "widescreen" option. They don't come out any different than normal pictures. Meh, I'll figure it out eventually.

There's a lot I have to do and a lot I want to do this week, hope I can get it all in before school starts.

Current Mood: (as usual)
Current Music: Jay-Z/Linkin Park - "Dirt off your shoulder/Lying from You"

Well, it's like I said, not every entry is going to be all that exciting. It was a pretty uneventful day. Yesterday, I did have dinner with Christine and Nicole however. I love them so much :0). Apparently Nicole redid all her speed dials in her cell phone and gave everyone funny names. I almost spit out my soda when she told me to call her phone and my name came up as Jedi Knight. I laughed so hard my chest actually hurt! This led into a conversation about us being concerned about the quality of the FINAL Star Wars movie EVER, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, which comes out in mere months. We're a little worried to say the least. I mean, look at the last two... ugh... (shudders). I'm sure I won't be able to help myself anyway and will be bursting with excitement when May does finally roll around. I'm also really thinking about getting my ear lobes pierced. Christine of course is all for it, hell, even Bill told me I should go for it on the phone today. Maybe sometime next week. Guess we'll see. She's having a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition marathon at her apartment on Saturday, half of which I'll miss. Thanks a lot Wal-Mart...

In other boring news: I have finally started on the odyssey that is cleaning up my room. I'm happy to say I've actually made good progress in only one day. Most of the TFs are off the floor now, making me that much sadder since now I can see the dirt that has built up on my rug. YUCK.

Guess that's it for now. TTYL kids.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Metal Gear Solid 3 st: Metal Gear Solid (Main Theme)

Is it just me or does the general public seem to be getting dumber and dumber every day? Or is it just the people that shop at Wal-Mart? Either way, it leaves me at a loss for words the way some people can act. But fortunately, it's usually worth a good laugh later, especially if it's coming from Bill. I don't know how I would survive work without him, he is easily one of the funniest people I know. Some guy asked him where the CD wallets were, and Bill told the idiot exactly where they are. And yet he kept insisting Bill show him where they are. And after demanding several more times, Bill still didn't move, just kept pointing to where they're located. Let's just say passive resistance is always the way to go :0). But as usual, he came out with laugh of the century once again. I think he put the Wal-Mart employee attitude better than I've ever heard it before (at least out attitude anyway). And I quote: "Geez, pretty soon they'll expect us to go in the bathroom and wipe their fucking asses for them. I'll go in the bathroom alright. I'll kick them in their fucking asses and put their face in the damn toilet." I love you Bill, in a very platonic way.

Side note: today was the day of familiar faces. I saw at least 4 old co-workers and someone I went to grade school with. Doesn't happen every day I suppose.

Well, guess thats all for now. Ta ta.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Starsailor: "Way to Fall"

Well, here it is, my very first entry. After the insistence of certain parties, I've finally decided to sit my ass down and start a livejournal. I can't promise how entertaining my entries will be, but you're just going to have to deal with it :P. It's a new year already, and I want to start it out right. It's been pretty... emotional already.

First off, I was kind of surprised by my mother. Before I went out on New Year's Eve, she wished my a happy new year. But what surprised me is what else she said. I've never exactly said this to her, but for the longest time I feel like I've been looking for something. What exactly that is, I don't know. I guess it's just some sort of peace of mind in my at times overly confusing life. But she told me: "I hope in 2005 you can find what you're looking for." I know she can really get to me sometimes, but I guess she really does understand me better than I give her credit for.

And then there's the other thing...

Ok, I'm not going to go into much detail here. But for a while now, I've kept something from a person who's quickly become very important to me, something that I thought could destroy our friendship. But, since as usual, I have little faith in myself, I was wrong. To say that I've had an immense burden lifted off my shoulders is an understatement. I'm just happy I had the courage to do what I knew what I had to do, and it was worth it. If by some chance you're reading this, you know who you are. And no matter what the future holds for both of us, you'll always have a special place in my heart.

And with that out of the way, let me get to the random crap of my day.
Well, I had to open the photo lab today, which is a change, and considering I was out fairly late, I was hurting by about 11 o'clock. But such is life right? Also, my Sharpie obsession continues. New colors, so of course I had to buy them. I have no idea if they'll really write in pastel colors, but I guess I'll find out. My co-workers continue to be a source of endless amusement. I don't think Wal-Mart would be bearable without them. And finally, to end my day, I came out to another friend today that probably should have known a long time ago, but I don't get to see her very often. But we caught up and talked for a little while after I punched out for the day, so that made my day.

Well, I guess that's all for today folks. I can't promise if all my entries will be this interesting, but here's hoping. Happy New Year everyone.

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Metal Gear Solid 3 soundtrack: "Don't Be Afraid"